The Best Prelinguistic Communication Tips

January 15, 2021 Stephanie Keffer

You may have noticed your child grabbing things out of your hands as soon as they are within reach, especially if you’re holding something they like. This is a prime example and one of the most common forms of paralinguistic communication. When this happens, your child is probably not thinking about you, only about what they’re grabbing for. When you stop your child from grabbing and offer them an item instead, you emphasize that there is an exchange taking place between you.

Communication is all about giving and receiving information, much like giving and receiving items. It is very important that your child learns the distinction between grabbing for an item and receiving an item from you.

Teaching toddlers to ask for things using non-verbal (or verbal) communication forms is a common speech therapy goal for children with autism. I am excited for you to try these tips and activities for teaching your toddler to request using prelinguistic communication.

What is prelinguistic communication? You might be wondering.

Before getting started with tips and activities, let’s define prelinguistic communication.

Prelinguistic communication is every way your child let’s you know what they want or need before (pre) they say words (linguistic). Prelinguistic communication can include looking at what they want, moving their body to suggest a want or need, and gestures.

Sometimes it’s easy to see your child’s prelinguistic communication forms, and other times it can take some time to learn your child’s specific way of communicating. As always, patience is key when practicing speech at home 😊 Let’s get started!

Tips for teaching toddlers to use prelinguistic communication

Tip 1 - Don’t let your child grab something from you — offer it to them

In order to teach your child to wait for you to offer an item, you first need to stop them from grabbing it. When you show your child something that they want and they begin to grab the item, pull the wanted item back so they can’t grab it. Then wait! After a pause, offer the item to your child by handing it to them.

By removing your child’s ability to immediately grab something they want, you help your child learn that you are the one giving them something they desire.

Tip 2 - Say the name of the thing you are offering

Next, you can use this as an opportunity to help your child identify the object with language. When you offer an item to your child (after making sure they don’t grab it from you), be sure to say the name of the item you’re offering. For example, “Car. This car is yours.” When you pull an item back and pause, you get your child’s attention because they want the item that you are offering them. In this moment, your child is most receptive to learning. Even if they cannot say the word for the item today, this practice will help them learn what the word means. Saying the word is also important to help provide your child with an example of what they might say when they are able.

Tip 3 - Wait and watch for signs of requesting

When you practice these skills, take time to observe your child closely and see if they display signs of requesting. Oftentimes, you are able to anticipate your child’s wants or needs. Anticipating your child’s needs is great; knowing when they need a diaper change or nourishment is important. When it comes to your child’s wants, I challenge you to wait and see what happens when you don’t automatically give your child something you know they want.

Children are incredibly smart and keen on taking the path of least resistance — who isn’t? If they are used to getting what they want without doing anything extra, it is unlikely that they will try new ways to ask for something. If you suddenly stop giving them what you know they want, your child is challenged to try something new. After you pull an item back from your child, count slowly to five or ten in your head. This will give your child plenty of time to try a new strategy to get what they want. Watch closely. Your child may look at you or use another common gesture to let you know they want what you have.

Keep in mind, they may use a gesture of their own to request. All of this is okay. The important thing is that your child is repeatedly using the same gesture or sound to ask for something.

Learning your child’s communication style - 3 at home speech therapy activities ↓

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At-home activity for encouraging prelinguistic communication

Chore Helper

Materials:

Option 1: Laundry hamper, clean laundry.

Option 2: Clean unbreakable dishes (kids plastic plates, cups spoons etc) and their drawer/bin

Option 3: Toy bin and toys.

Set-up:

You are going to have a chore helper today! Read over the 3 “what to do” options below and choose which version you want to try. That will determine your simple set up.

What to do:

Option 1: Laundry: Position yourself next to the dryer. Position your child next to you (standing, or maybe on a small chair). Put the laundry hamper on their other side. Pull out one item of clean clothes from the dryer and hand it to your child. Guide them to throw it into the hamper. Depending on your child, you can tell them “throw it in”, or you can model throwing an item in, or you can gently hold their hand (with the clothing item) and together throw it in the hamper. However you need to for your child to show them what to do. Continue to model until they can do it on their own.

The basic plan is that you hand your child an item of clothing, then take it from your hand (not grabbing) and get to throw it into the hamper. They’re helping you with laundry! This may last for a few pieces of clothing or for the whole load!

Option 2: Dishes: Kids plates/cups/silverware: Same basic premise, but this works for putting away kids dishware if you use a large drawer or bin to store their kid plates/cups/silverware. As you hand them one clean item from the sink/dishwasher, they take it from you and get to toss it into the drawer/bin.

Note: You may choose to go back later and organize what they put in there… but the idea is that they’re functionally practicing taking from you nicely, and also getting to feel proud of themselves for helping you. This is a big motivator for toddlers/preschoolers.

Option 3: Toys: Some kids can also practice this while cleaning up toys if you use a toy bin. For some kids, this is too hard because they want to play with everything. Use your discretion if you want to practice this with kids toys. If you try, same basic premise. Give them a toy and have them take it and toss it into the toy bin

What to say:

Use simple language, especially while teaching the skill as you start this activity. As you give your child the item (from any scenario), you can model “Here you go” or “Here Johnny” each time. Children are learning from this repetition and it's another way to clue them into what to do. You may want to use only 1-2 words as you model tossing in the item, for example with laundry “Toss it in!” or “Bye clothes”.

If your child is using and/or understanding more language, you could also use a simple descriptor as you hand them an item “Ooh green shirt. Here ya go.” or “Here’s Daddy’s sock”. Or “Here’s Maya’s spoon.”

Learning your child’s communication style - 3 at home speech therapy activities (this activity + 2 more!) ↓