Did I cause my child’s speech delay?
A family is at the pediatrician with their toddler. The pediatrician asks a series of routine questions about development. She then says, “I think your child might have a speech delay. I’m going to refer you to a speech therapist.” The parents experience a sinking feeling. Oh no, they think. How could this be? Was it something we did?
If your child has been suspected or identified as having a “speech delay,” you are not alone. Many families are on this journey with you.
Having a child identified with something like “language delay” or “speech delay” sometimes gives parents a variety of feelings. I’ve heard all of the following things from families:
We’ve spoiled him.
We probably didn’t let him watch enough educational shows.
We probably let him watch too many shows.
He probably doesn’t talk enough because we speak another language at home.
He would talk more if we spoke another language at home.
He probably doesn’t talk enough because he fell out of his chair that one time.
He’s the baby and we all talk for him.
He’s the oldest and we all talk for him.
Many families such as the ones quoted above have the same feeling: we caused this.
Parents are acutely aware of The Guilt that comes with parenting.
Late walker? Guilt.
Baby doesn’t breastfeed? Guilt.
Baby doesn’t like music class? Guilt.
Conflicting information on the internet doesn’t help either. Guilt guilt guilt.
When it comes to speech delay, parents be comforted in knowing that speech delay is not caused by something you did. Much like learning to read or ride a bike, people learn skills differently, at different times, and in different ways.
Parents of toddlers with language delay should do the best they can to push The Guilt aside and tackle the problems head on.
If you’re wondering, “Did I cause my child’s speech delay?” - the answer is NO. But there are several things that you can do to support them!
In this post we’ll talk about the types of speech delay, causes of speech delay, and what you CAN do if your child has speech delay.
Is it a “speech delay” or is it a “language delay?”
Let’s distinguish between speech and language briefly. “Speech” refers to the actual sounds coming out of a person’s mouth. “Language” are the words that people understand and choose to use when they communicate.
Speech-language pathologists (SLPs) make a distinction between “speech” and “language” when diagnosing and treating children.
However, it is important to note that pediatricians and other professionals do not make this same distinction. A pediatrician is likely to use the term “speech delay” regardless of if the issue is technically speech or language.
For more in-depth discussion of speech versus language see our blog post or watch the video linked below.
Suggested Blog Post: Speech versus Language
Or Watch This Video: Speech versus Language
In this article, we are going to use the terms “speech delay” and “language delay” interchangeably.
Types of speech delay in toddlers:
1. Some kids are delayed in only expressive language. This group might be called the “late talkers” or “late bloomers.” These children have age-appropriate understanding, age-appropriate social/play skills, but a reduced expressive vocabulary. Kids who have delayed talking benefit from speech therapy and parent training to help the, catch up.
2. Some kids are delayed in both expressive AND receptive language skills. They don’t talk as much as we expect for their age, and they also don’t understand as much as we want for their age. However, their social skills and play skills are age-appropriate. An SLP will likely label this child as having a “language disorder.” These kids also benefit from speech therapy with parent training. Therapy will likely take longer for this group than for late talkers since the family/therapist will be working on understanding as well as talking.
3. Some kids are challenged to express themselves, don’t understand directions, and are also behind their peers in play and social skills. These children might have a language disorder as part of a larger developmental diagnosis. These children usually benefit from speech therapy as well as referrals to additional allied professionals, such as psychologists or developmental pediatricians.
Possible causes of speech delay
If you are a parent of a child with a language delay and you are reading this, congratulations! You are already doing a good job. Identifying a speech/language delay in your child is not always easy to do.
1. For some kids, they are just having trouble learning to talk, and that’s okay.
2. Many children have quirks of their personalities that make it harder for them to learn to talk.
They might be overly easy-going and aren’t as motivated to try to communicate. Sometimes they are self-sufficient and are able to get what they want without a lot of communicating with other people. Some children just have trouble learning language. Much like how some older children might have trouble with other skills (like learning to use scissors or learning math,) some kids need extra time and extra help learning to talk. In these cases, the family benefits from learning tips and tricks to set up the environment to help the child learn to talk.
3. For some kids, a speech delay comes from medical issues.
In some situations, kids might have a language delay due to illness or other medical issues. Some babies/toddlers have a lot of ear infections (often without anyone noticing.) The ear infections gave them mild temporary hearing loss, which can lead to language delay. Children who are born early or have medical issues at birth might have language delays. Children who are seriously sick (such as those who need prolonged hospitalization) will often have language delay due to lack of exposure to everyday language.
Whatever the reason, it is uncommon that a parent does something that actively causes a speech delay. But with an engaged parent coached by a skilled therapist, kids with speech delay make great improvements.
What to do if you suspect a speech or language delay
If you are worried about your child’s language, you can ask your child’s pediatrician if you need a referral to a speech therapy evaluation. If you qualify for speech therapy, the therapist will help teach you some speech therapy tricks to help you encourage your child to talk more.
For more information, we have some additional helpful resources that I’ll link here:
Can a child catch up from speech delay?
On top of wondering, “Did I cause my child’s speech delay?” I know you’re also eager to see them “catch up.”
Some children will “catch up” on their own, but many do not. If your child is simply a late talker, some research papers suggest that about half will catch up on their own. If your child is a late talker and they also have a challenges with understanding and/or social skills, they are more likely to need extra help in the form of speech therapy to work towards their milestones.
While we’ve all heard of the child who suddenly started talking in sentences at 3, this isn’t the norm. Children do experience bursts in growth of their communication skills, but they are often very incremental and build on skills one step at a time. Speech therapists are experts at identifying the next step your child is ready to tackle and teaching your strategies you can use at home to encourage that next step.
Learn about what to expect in speech therapy for toddlers here.
Parents also often ask these questions about speech delays
References List:
Written By: Stephanie Burgener-Vader, MA CCC-SLP
© 2020-2023. Stephanie Keffer, MS CCC-SLP. All Rights Reserved.
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